when everything else fails

Stereotyped and Discriminated

As my good friend here uses to say, this world is full of stereotypes. I don’t know what put this wacky idea of applying the almighty self important theory of stereotyping to girls. Ya I mean how to stereotype girls.

Well you can get them in all sorts, thin and fat, tall and short, fair and dark. Thinking a bit deeper, you will find the playful sorts and serious sorts, the simple and the innocent. “Buddy, you will soon end with the dumb stereotype” chuckles my friend. “Take for example my next door aunt” Instinct tells me, he is now up to a long talk. “She uses to send me emails, then she would knock by my door and say Sonny I send you an email, check it.” My friend makes a pained face and demands, “If she can come up knocking at my door, why can’t she finish the story face to face instead of sending me stupid emails? Ya buddy there is your dumb stereotype” Declares my friend triumphantly. Hmm . . . forget that stereotype, by the way who am I to defend girls?

“If you want I can give you another example for a stereotype, this time a girl specific one” Now he says while rummaging the freezer for something to gobble down. Thinking of the freezer, it’s normally empty due to my laziness in restocking. Today it should be abnormally empty because my friend is still turning nick and knack through the content. Fast forward several decades into the future, you will get fully automated freezers connected to the “information superhighway” 24 hours a day 7 days a week. When it gets empty the intelligent system will order stuff and restock straight out of the delivery chain. Minimum interference is simply great even you can’t trust a freezer with your credit card. Its rocket science pruned, manicured and powdered down for the not too tech savvy general public like you and me.

Thinking of the rounds of bug fixing and nail biting I’ve gone through due to computer viruses, (I would have burned every domain server on the internet with fire) wonder what will happen if your fully automated 24/7 efreezer is infected by a malicious virus. “Gotcha buddy! It’s the virus stereotype” Exclaims my booze headed friend, sporting a shining can of coke, his prize from the tiring rummage he subjected the poor freezer. “You aren’t gonna get any boys of the virus stereotype, It’s unique to girls. I can explain if you wanna listen.” He falls like a barrel of oil on the creaking sofa.

Cozying himself. More creaking. “Take for example my ex-girlfriend.” What! this fellow had an ex too? That is a story worth hearing. Well I mean not how he got dumped, but how he got one at first place. “Her presence was infectious. I thought she was the coolest girl on earth. We would talk on the phone for hours, time seemed like nonexistent. She will croon like a dryad.” Now what the hell is a dryad? “We would go on shopping trips from morning lasting till the late nights, it drained my energy. It was ok as long as I was with her. I didn’t see the other thing which was draining out of me, my purse. You can imagine what was going on buddy. Hmm . . Then one day I thought everything was fixed.” He sighs. “I took her for a dinner and proposed to her. Can you imagine what she said? She said she already has a boyfriend and she is engaged. I cried on that place and pleaded to her. She said she can’t accept. And what the hell was she doing with me the whole time? Where was her forsaken boyfriend?” He demands angrily. The sofa creaks more.

“She was a virus, she infected me and slowly drained me. Viruses have no medicine for cure, only time will reveal the culprit, only time will heal the damage.” asserts my prophetic friend demonstrating his newfound insight. Plumb on the sofa, sipping a can of coke, my friend proclaims “Seriously I mean it, finally it sums up to one thing. All girls are selfish. My dearest buddy, don’t believe in girls, they are gonna bring you down.” Hmm . . Should I believe what he says?

Thinking of the fellow on the sofa, there is nothing sane in his over the counter “you are gonna get your butt kicked soon” look face. Self important nerds like me don’t like to believe in a plumb couch potato, do I . . . Really, now who is the couch potato. And as a matter of fact who stereotyped me as a nerd?

Wearing spects and having an idiotic look and a very low dose of common sense coupled with over brilliance in cramming everything and nothing, stereotypes you as a nerd. Believe me they will brand you, if you just wear some bottle bottom glasses of the Harry Potter sorts and appear stoned like a cat on crack. Well blame the media, the big and ugly propaganda machine which believes delivering the gossip is their god bestowed duty. They took the innocent basement dwelling type and caricatured into today’s deprecatory nerdy stereotype. At least they left some respect for the geeky stereotype.

Bah . . Now I’m going in round circles, blame the media or blame crack, It’s simply not my fault that my mind wanders. Ok back to the present. There is nothing too special about my coke sipping couch potato or is it? As I look, he is now trying to log online. “Gotta check mail” he says. Keeps me wondering what his stereotype is. Maybe his next door aunt knows. Is he checking for mail by his aunt now? He is fat and round, lazy as booze, well I told that earlier too, didn’t I? “It’s hard to avoid buddy, they just categorize me as physically obese and suffering from multiple personality disorder induced by paranoid mentality” he declares mournfully.
Wonder what a “physically obese and suffering from multiple personality disorder induced by paranoid mentality” means in plain English. Ya plain English as you and me can understand. Hmm . . . might be I finally got it. “Physically obese and suffering from multiple personality disorder induced by paranoid mentality” in plain English is translated as a “retard”. Oversimplifying for the mentally challenged among us, it sums up to being a “douchebag”.

As I look on, he is now chatting with a sweetheart from another dimension. “She’d got me hooked up” he declares with a wink. Bah . . Let him masturbate to his 4D sweetheart (or is it the 6th dimension). I gotta get some sleep. I will continue believing in girls, well until my ultimate demise.

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One response

  1. WordsFallFromMyEyes

    masturbate to his 4D sweetheart … You really have me smile at that.

    Hey, I see you’re not posting these days, but came by to see if you were still writing. I was visiting Willowdot21, checked out her blog roll & there you were.

    Wherever you’re at, hope it’s good 🙂 (your writing is good, you know – I enjoyed this)

    January 27, 2013 at 12:17 pm

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