when everything else fails

Posts tagged “broken

Innocence Wanted

lost innocence imprisoned cries for times of past
where believing everything is true forever did last
frosted face pressed by this window this pane of cold glass
lay thinking of gold and silver in this land of pale graying brass

gold and silver shining like pure and heavenly auburn
dreamed about sunsets on an emerald grassy meadow
wished to be pure and untainted a child freshly born
to smile and laugh that tinkling laugh when time did allow

run around to steal soft kisses from dew clad grass
then an innocent heart counted time for a day to pass
but not for an end but just for sparkling stars to shine high
to hear silent lullabies light years ago etched in this sky

now here lays this frozen face pressed on cold glass
thinking of broken love lost friends and a betrayed past
counting coins to meet ends of life in pain ever last
dreaming of innocence lost drop by drop as time did pass

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I Sip A Bitter Cocktail

every drop tastes in bitterness divine
every tear freezes harder where cheeks align
with dearest death oh sweetness i entwine
with feelings drowned in sorrow i shall resign

pure love is a failed campaign for glory
where that cup of victory is a hard sip
lay groveling in sand dirtied in details gory
is the only victory your hand will dip

countless are the lies set in absent shame
clouded minds made all mistakes done in heat
when you are a two who will take the blame
will you or your other one still beloved in defeat

in hollow anger shame flies like autumn birds
fleeing from approaching terrible winter dates
in that absent shame let forth violent words
like a lake hugged in freezing wintered fate

lay groveling in sand of defeat this cold november
in reminiscence of glory days when time flies
in bitterness an empty smile i remember
and will lay freezing when every fleck of light dies

resigned from life this empty shell becomes me
now lay weeping of days with happier dealings
how a mighty oak gives way to a cold axe in fury
chip by chip every sorrow strikes with harder feelings

this november final flowers of a season blooms and wither
count those fragile petals before wind blows them away
reality is a frame lost in reason and doused bitter
death is a cocktail that tastes better come your final day

in shivering cold i count each cycle of day and night
just empty numbers meant for dying petals by the lake
and count and sip every drop divine till i loose the fight
oh tears shall freeze harder my dearest when death shall take


Pantoum: My Lover Sailed Away


smiling he waves from further away
in a ship sailing on sapphire waters
with tears my suffering eyes gives way
beat by beat my heart painfully falters

in a ship sailing on sapphire waters
they all went hunting for gold in new lands
beat by beat my heart painfully falters
i fear he lost his heart on foreign sands

they all went hunting for gold in new lands
he promised fruits from an emerald field
i fear he lost his heart on foreign sands
he is gone for long fear he lost his shield

he promised fruits from an emerald field
i wanted not treasure but his silken touch
he is gone for long fear he lost his shield
fear he met his demise oh i miss so much

i wanted not treasure but his silken touch
but only got wind caressing me these cold nights
fear he met his demise oh i miss so much
ever my pained cloudy eyes see ghostly sights

but only got wind caressing me these cold nights
sleepless in solitude as midnight wane
ever my pained cloudy eyes see ghostly sights
now over the hill i see his floating pale frame

sleepless in solitude as midnight wane
with tears my suffering eyes gives way
now over the hill i see his floating pale frame
smiling he waves from further away

this is my second attempt at the pantoum form, which i think is a great but challenging way for storytelling. ever since i read about it at dVerse – Poets Pub, i’ve been in love with it.


The Schizoid Suspect

they came every night in shrill voices
to talk about me how dull am i
in manic laughter to expose my vices
in my head tearing my every sigh

drained by every effort to shut their lies
now lay chained i am a promethean son
like a burning cauldron this pale mind cries
it stirs and boils till broth is done

their gaze left me in catatonic states
in this glass house they recited my every move
what became of me are there darker fates
on the witness stand my insanity they proved


A Doll Laments (A Toy’s Story)

i was polished and shining, my frock of velvet blue
socks of silky white and shoes of plastic black
a dad’s gift to his lovely angel he held dear
on a birthday bash i saw the light of day

the light of day and the shine in your eyes
you hugged him, with me pressed in between
i heard you say i love you daddy, so much
and soon i became your new toy and love too

when you pressed me on the front
i said “hello hello oh my dear”
with my voice crystal clear
loud and proud, i was the queen

in your tea party i occupied the prime spot
deep in you where it beats, but so long ago
oh how time flies and changes, “hello hello”
now it seems like ages ago, “oh my dear”

now i see the ages with my glassy eyes
with it’s fading shine my vision blurs
and around me my world now crumbles
it will do because you are no more

i’m no more too, my limbs i can’t find
dismembered but i didn’t shed any blood
i’m of plastic but i felt the pain like you
about you who shed blood while i blurred

you screamed pain and fear, “oh my dear”
still i felt the purity deep in your voice
crystal clear and beyond what i could
i felt shame about my only “hello hello”

and it was to shame you finally succumbed
wet my velvet frock with your tears and blood red
you ripped my limbs in your pain which i felt magnified
infinite times because i was your dear love

it was your blood that bastard finally drew
to hide forever his crime, the one i witnessed
i wanted to curse him to hell and deep beyond
but all i could say was “hello hello oh my dear”

my eyes went bloodshot with tears i couldn’t cry
your blood which soaked my eyes and all left of me
left disfigured trampled and choked just like you
just like so, they found us both in a deep ditch

they buried you deep again but now in a box
i felt the mourners wail and a dad’s silence
lost his voice in shock and loss of what was dear
in heaviness of that mourning autumn “oh my dear”

then they threw me in a box with all your memories
and hid in a dusty cellar where i now reside
i cherish the days of long ago, oh how i want it back
“hello hello” i have story to tell but no one to hear


The Tomorrow

i switch on the lights . . .
now i see a photograph
of us together, from a time
when we was still together
still smiling like children
like children in the dawn
the mischief
the gleam in your eyes
the ghost of our lives
when we still believed
there was no tomorrow

i switch off the lights . . .
now i see darkness
i see myself alone, in a time
when nothing seems to hold on
the sadness, the regret, the parting
life after dusk
when everything i believed on
has finally faded away
leaving the ghost of myself
to linger on
in my tomorrow


The End That Never Comes

sun it rises, burning crimson rays on my window
it’s hopefully my last sun, oh so awful sight
now i’m weaker than my faint morning shadow
because i opened my veins to drain yesterday night

heart it beats, emptying all my blood now so cold
with fatigue it slows down cursing me for it’s fate
pain so awful, burns more like wounds of old
my pulse so pounding, hunger for death i can’t sate

i should have been gone now, banished to the deepest pits
why i still writhe in this drama of pain, pooling blood on stage
another sun on my face, why so long, when i said quits
lived a life full of lies, can’t live more to write another page

death it never comes for me, i still endure this freakish hell
sun it peaks, triumphant now burning rays on my pale face
oh so terrible that i wanted to find solace in deepest hell
clotting blood around me now, betrayed even by death’s embrace

take me to your refuge, oh angel of the fallen
denied life and now denied death i wanted to be mine
believed in all lies they taught, now i feel stolen
waiting for something in between, my soul lay supine