when everything else fails

Posts tagged “death

I Sip A Bitter Cocktail

every drop tastes in bitterness divine
every tear freezes harder where cheeks align
with dearest death oh sweetness i entwine
with feelings drowned in sorrow i shall resign

pure love is a failed campaign for glory
where that cup of victory is a hard sip
lay groveling in sand dirtied in details gory
is the only victory your hand will dip

countless are the lies set in absent shame
clouded minds made all mistakes done in heat
when you are a two who will take the blame
will you or your other one still beloved in defeat

in hollow anger shame flies like autumn birds
fleeing from approaching terrible winter dates
in that absent shame let forth violent words
like a lake hugged in freezing wintered fate

lay groveling in sand of defeat this cold november
in reminiscence of glory days when time flies
in bitterness an empty smile i remember
and will lay freezing when every fleck of light dies

resigned from life this empty shell becomes me
now lay weeping of days with happier dealings
how a mighty oak gives way to a cold axe in fury
chip by chip every sorrow strikes with harder feelings

this november final flowers of a season blooms and wither
count those fragile petals before wind blows them away
reality is a frame lost in reason and doused bitter
death is a cocktail that tastes better come your final day

in shivering cold i count each cycle of day and night
just empty numbers meant for dying petals by the lake
and count and sip every drop divine till i loose the fight
oh tears shall freeze harder my dearest when death shall take


The Wanderer

this pale heart weeps
in bitterness enshrined
these feet hardy and tough
through vast distance they walked
now trembles at every step
knees sinking to crumbling depths

these hands gave life
to those now long departed
now holds a stick sturdy
to keep this wanderer walking
these ancient eyes
now clouded cannot see

where lies the key
to unlock the answer

this body lashed in thousands
for heresy uncommitted
to a living hell banished
in eternal pain this crumbling body wails
and in this pale heart tainted blood fails
to keep this wanderer walking

so where lies the key
to unlock the answer

between endless stretches of sand
lies vast oceans no ship ever sails
red sun shines brighter this dying land
alight this fire steams life into vapor
with bitterness this parched throat cries
for unsalted water

clouded eyes see ancient forests dying
trembling feet walks on falling leaves burning
on this ashen ground lay a tired wanderer
in tears vanishing to vapor sizzling
with bitterness this parched throat cries
for unsalted water

where lies the key to unlock the answer
this clouded sight cannot forever see
and time counts in drops of water
needed to keep this wanderer walking


Captured Motionless

.:in sleepless nights:.
in sleepless nights
.:i give up:.
i give up (more…)


A Doll Laments (A Toy’s Story)

i was polished and shining, my frock of velvet blue
socks of silky white and shoes of plastic black
a dad’s gift to his lovely angel he held dear
on a birthday bash i saw the light of day

the light of day and the shine in your eyes
you hugged him, with me pressed in between
i heard you say i love you daddy, so much
and soon i became your new toy and love too

when you pressed me on the front
i said “hello hello oh my dear”
with my voice crystal clear
loud and proud, i was the queen

in your tea party i occupied the prime spot
deep in you where it beats, but so long ago
oh how time flies and changes, “hello hello”
now it seems like ages ago, “oh my dear”

now i see the ages with my glassy eyes
with it’s fading shine my vision blurs
and around me my world now crumbles
it will do because you are no more

i’m no more too, my limbs i can’t find
dismembered but i didn’t shed any blood
i’m of plastic but i felt the pain like you
about you who shed blood while i blurred

you screamed pain and fear, “oh my dear”
still i felt the purity deep in your voice
crystal clear and beyond what i could
i felt shame about my only “hello hello”

and it was to shame you finally succumbed
wet my velvet frock with your tears and blood red
you ripped my limbs in your pain which i felt magnified
infinite times because i was your dear love

it was your blood that bastard finally drew
to hide forever his crime, the one i witnessed
i wanted to curse him to hell and deep beyond
but all i could say was “hello hello oh my dear”

my eyes went bloodshot with tears i couldn’t cry
your blood which soaked my eyes and all left of me
left disfigured trampled and choked just like you
just like so, they found us both in a deep ditch

they buried you deep again but now in a box
i felt the mourners wail and a dad’s silence
lost his voice in shock and loss of what was dear
in heaviness of that mourning autumn “oh my dear”

then they threw me in a box with all your memories
and hid in a dusty cellar where i now reside
i cherish the days of long ago, oh how i want it back
“hello hello” i have story to tell but no one to hear


COPD (Last Breath)

his eyes spoke volumes
between labored breaths
when our eyes met, i tried to smile
and he saw deeper into me
the words i didn’t express
he knows his past
the ominous signs
his failings he now regrets
his redemption is past tense
to my trained sense

and when everyone around
speaks of bygone days
he knows his breaths are numbered
a cylinder holds within
and slowly measure and deliver
the last air he will breath
he saw beyond my false assurances
and it puts me to shame
he knows i’m fake
that i’m not his savior


A Study In Poison (To Cure A Cancer Patient)

a clock is ticking somewhere, we let us suspend in a frame of time frozen
on an altar we prayed to kill demons, eating on a sweetness once eternal
are we late, our oracle knows not how to cure, maybe we are not chosen
standing silent, our pride scarred, watching you burn with pain infernal

hair raven black silk, swishy and swaying
the ebony crown that wooed boys’ hearts
now wrinkled and knotted, slowly dethroning
abandoning your body, now falling into shards

beauty eternal they said of your skin so warm flushed and lusty
slowly it withered and gave way to this ashen pale remains
we saw a monster, so we mixed a poison and called it therapy
you swallowed the grains and we watched how the color drains

silent fire of your eyes, slowly it vanish, let go of the light
warmth of your halo, we saw it diminish, let go fading
spread on the bed, this pale ivory shard, is your pain burning bright
let go of your demons, we saw them growing, leaving your soul bleeding

slowly drips the poison we infused, to kill you from the inside
our therapy to kill the demons now embraced one with you
our hearts stand motionless, our graying and solemn pride
deep within is a hope we hide, somehow we can save you


The End That Never Comes

sun it rises, burning crimson rays on my window
it’s hopefully my last sun, oh so awful sight
now i’m weaker than my faint morning shadow
because i opened my veins to drain yesterday night

heart it beats, emptying all my blood now so cold
with fatigue it slows down cursing me for it’s fate
pain so awful, burns more like wounds of old
my pulse so pounding, hunger for death i can’t sate

i should have been gone now, banished to the deepest pits
why i still writhe in this drama of pain, pooling blood on stage
another sun on my face, why so long, when i said quits
lived a life full of lies, can’t live more to write another page

death it never comes for me, i still endure this freakish hell
sun it peaks, triumphant now burning rays on my pale face
oh so terrible that i wanted to find solace in deepest hell
clotting blood around me now, betrayed even by death’s embrace

take me to your refuge, oh angel of the fallen
denied life and now denied death i wanted to be mine
believed in all lies they taught, now i feel stolen
waiting for something in between, my soul lay supine