when everything else fails

Posts tagged “emotional

Innocence Wanted

lost innocence imprisoned cries for times of past
where believing everything is true forever did last
frosted face pressed by this window this pane of cold glass
lay thinking of gold and silver in this land of pale graying brass

gold and silver shining like pure and heavenly auburn
dreamed about sunsets on an emerald grassy meadow
wished to be pure and untainted a child freshly born
to smile and laugh that tinkling laugh when time did allow

run around to steal soft kisses from dew clad grass
then an innocent heart counted time for a day to pass
but not for an end but just for sparkling stars to shine high
to hear silent lullabies light years ago etched in this sky

now here lays this frozen face pressed on cold glass
thinking of broken love lost friends and a betrayed past
counting coins to meet ends of life in pain ever last
dreaming of innocence lost drop by drop as time did pass

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Feeling Lighter

finally i will fly
i can touch for real
this blue sky
this feeling overwhelms
as i lay suspended
in limbo

emotions and memories
from a not so distant past
broken hearts and empty bottles
all those heavy worries
and forever saying sorries
blurs away when i close my eyes
this blue sky i float
lightens my sorrow
fades away my sorrow
this dream i dream
leaves no tomorrow
to wake up again
my dream will forever last
no more pain to bury
no more deviations from sober
this limbo takes me over

finally i will not fall
i can touch for real
this blue sky
this feeling overwhelms
sorrows shall disappear fast
my dream will forever last

written for prompt: Poets United Midnight Snack (005)


Confidence

Confidence . . . It’s word that doesn’t come up much to my conscious world these days, maybe it’s buried deep within my subconscious clashing around with those horrid, weird dynamics Freud seemed to explain with such clarity that even a dog would understand, well not me. My confidence is buried, maybe even deeper into my unconscious that I don’t even feel for it’s existence. How pitiful when you find yourself unable to look at a person in the eyes, when you lose your general swagger which accompanies your speech, in fact your speech is now staggering blabbering muttering incomprehensible and repetitive. You had lost all your sense of achievement and no longer feel the urge to survive competition. There is a sense of failure. You had given up.

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Yet Another Poem In Vain

my poetry is stale like
meat of my ischemic heart
ripped by yet another last strike
but why i still pen this poetic art

because i gave love another chance
and lost my last bit of sanity
again let myself dance that dance
and lose myself from reality

so i write about tears like i did before
but this time the game is different
these are for the one i still adore
even though i can’t bear this torment

endless tears come easy this time
again i shall do my salty ocean worth
just to drown once more in my crime
of sweet hate and rip my heart forth

should write some words about my lost heart
stale meat yet tireless till time to depart
pumps my soul, yeah still does it’s part
oh faithful beat, but don’t tear me apart

i wrote of loss, yet another poem in vain
this ink will disappear when it does rain
but rain will not wash away this black stain
of a dying heart beating in a painful refrain


The Tomorrow

i switch on the lights . . .
now i see a photograph
of us together, from a time
when we was still together
still smiling like children
like children in the dawn
the mischief
the gleam in your eyes
the ghost of our lives
when we still believed
there was no tomorrow

i switch off the lights . . .
now i see darkness
i see myself alone, in a time
when nothing seems to hold on
the sadness, the regret, the parting
life after dusk
when everything i believed on
has finally faded away
leaving the ghost of myself
to linger on
in my tomorrow


A Study In Poison (To Cure A Cancer Patient)

a clock is ticking somewhere, we let us suspend in a frame of time frozen
on an altar we prayed to kill demons, eating on a sweetness once eternal
are we late, our oracle knows not how to cure, maybe we are not chosen
standing silent, our pride scarred, watching you burn with pain infernal

hair raven black silk, swishy and swaying
the ebony crown that wooed boys’ hearts
now wrinkled and knotted, slowly dethroning
abandoning your body, now falling into shards

beauty eternal they said of your skin so warm flushed and lusty
slowly it withered and gave way to this ashen pale remains
we saw a monster, so we mixed a poison and called it therapy
you swallowed the grains and we watched how the color drains

silent fire of your eyes, slowly it vanish, let go of the light
warmth of your halo, we saw it diminish, let go fading
spread on the bed, this pale ivory shard, is your pain burning bright
let go of your demons, we saw them growing, leaving your soul bleeding

slowly drips the poison we infused, to kill you from the inside
our therapy to kill the demons now embraced one with you
our hearts stand motionless, our graying and solemn pride
deep within is a hope we hide, somehow we can save you


Nocturnal Illusions

make me show it all
the pain i burn deep inside
answer him for my final call
where i stand i cannot decide

let his glory be my salvation
let it be my soothing ointment
pain shall be my imagination
fade away my disappointment

make me show it all
the brightness of my desire
help me before my fall
call him to light my fire

make me show it all
the craving i had for him
on the floor when i sprawl
blankness is all at whim

nocturnal delusions
is it all the illusions
burning me from the inside
help me just decide